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Child Safeguarding Statement
Some resources and activities may prompt a child to remember and potentially share an experience of harm. Make sure you’re familiar with your school's safeguarding policies and procedures so you can confidently report safety and well-being concerns.
Prepare students for the session by discussing: their right to be safe and respected; what to do if discussing online safety makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe; and how to seek help if they feel or have felt unsafe. Use this resource available on the website.
Tips & Resources
The Online Conduct Risk Area: A Parent's Guide
Helping your child treat others with kindness and respect online
You might be reading this because your child is learning about Conduct as part of the eSmart Digital Licence program at school. Conduct is one of four online risk areas. It's about helping children evaluate and respond to what they encounter online.
Introducing the Conduct risk area
Key takeaways
Online safety is a shared responsibility between school and home—and it's an ongoing conversation with your child, not a one-time lesson.
Support works better than shame. Children who feel supported after making mistakes are more likely to take responsibility and learn from them.
Simple questions make a difference. Asking "Would you say that face to face?" builds a habit of pausing before posting.
These are life skills. Empathy, accountability, and standing up for others are life skills that benefit your child everywhere.
Mistakes are learning opportunities. How you respond when things go wrong matters more than preventing every misstep.
What parents should know
Conduct risks are about everyday choices online, like the messages your child sends, the posts they share, and how they treat others. Most of the time, these moments are harmless and unintentional, but they can still have a real impact.
Recent data from the eSafety Commissioner shows reports of cyberbullying have increased over recent years, particularly among children in the early teen years. In many cases, this behaviour involves peers children already know, and often reflects the same dynamics seen at school or in friendship groups.
The reassuring news is that empathy and accountability can be learned. Children who develop these skills become not just safer digital citizens, but kinder ones and these are qualities that benefit every area of their lives.
What Conduct risks look like at different ages
Children aged 4 to 7 are still developing impulse control and may not fully understand that people online are real. At this age, supervision is important, and teaching basic kindness ("We don't say things online that we wouldn't say face to face") lays the foundation.
Children aged 8 to 11 are more likely to participate in group chats, multiplayer games, and online communities where conduct risks increase. Peer pressure and group dynamics become more significant. This is the age to discuss how online actions affect real people and to practise accountability.
Children aged 12 and older face higher stakes. Content they post can spread quickly, and the consequences can be lasting. At this age, children are more aware that online actions affect real people, and they're ready for deeper conversations about empathy, accountability, and standing up for others.
Practical strategies for home
Model thoughtful online behaviour
Your digital behaviour influences how your child behaves online. Show them what respectful engagement looks like by pausing before posting when you're feeling emotional, speaking about others online as you would face to face, and acknowledging when you've made a mistake.
Children learn by watching. Your habits shape theirs.
Use the "face to face" test
Ask your child: "Would you say that if the person was standing right next to you?" This simple question connects online actions to real-world consequences and builds a habit of pausing before posting.
Focus on impact, not intention
Children often say "I was just joking" or "I didn't mean it that way." Help them understand that what matters most is how the other person feels, not what they intended. Tone is difficult to read online, and jokes are easily misunderstood.
You might say: "Even if you didn't mean to upset them, how do you think they felt when they read that?"
Help them make it right
When your child makes a mistake online, focus on repair rather than shame. This builds accountability without damaging your relationship and teaches them that mistakes are opportunities to learn.
The Alannah & Madeline Foundation's DigiTalk resource, Navigating online bullying to create a safer digital experience, has practical guidance for when your child is on the receiving end and when they're the one who has caused harm.
You might say: "That message hurt someone. What do you think you could do to make it better?"
Talk about group dynamics
Peer pressure is powerful online. Talk about the courage it takes to stand up for someone, how to leave a group chat that turns unkind, and what to do if friends pressure them to say or share something harmful.
You might practise: "That doesn't feel right to me" or "I'm not comfortable with this."
Create a family agreement
Sit down together and agree on shared values for online behaviour. For example: we treat others online as we would like to be treated, we don't share content about others without permission, and we own our mistakes and make them right.
Another DigiTalk resource, Guiding your child's tech journey with DigiTalks, has age-specific conversation prompts and downloadable conversation cards to help you open up these discussions at home.
These conversations make a difference
Families who build empathy and accountability together around online behaviour often notice benefits that extend well beyond the screen. Children become more thoughtful about how their actions affect others not just online, but in their friendships, at school, and at home.
These conversations also strengthen your relationship. When children know they can come to you after making a mistake without fear of shame, they're more likely to be honest and to learn from what happened.
The habits they build now tend to stick around: pausing before reacting, thinking about how others feel, owning their mistakes.
How this connects to other online risks
Learning to behave respectfully online has benefits across all areas of online safety.
Content
Relates to thinking critically about online content.
Compulsion
Relates to building healthy digital habits.
Contact
Relates to staying safe in online interactions.
FAQs
What should I do if my child is cyberbullying someone?
Stay calm and listen to what happened. Help them understand how their actions affected someone else, and talk through what they could do to make things right. Mistakes are opportunities to learn.
How do I know if my child is being mean online?
Watch for secrecy around devices, reluctance to show you conversations, or sudden changes in friendships. Keeping communication open makes it easier for them to talk about what's happening.
How can I teach my child to be an upstander?
Talk about the courage it takes to stand up for someone. Practise phrases they can use, like "That's not okay" or "Leave them alone." Let them know that even small actions, like not joining in, can make a difference. The eSmart Digital Licence is a free resource that helps educators teach empathy and positive bystander skills from Foundation to Year 6. Consider sharing it with your child's school.
Should I punish my child for online behaviour?
Punishment can make children more secretive rather than more thoughtful. Instead, try to understand what happened and help them navigate how to manage for next time. Children are more likely to come to you in future if they're not afraid of punishment.
Further reading and references
- Alannah & Madeline Foundation – Guiding your child's tech journey with DigiTalks: Age-specific conversation prompts and downloadable cards to help families talk openly about how to behave online.
- Alannah & Madeline Foundation – Navigating online bullying to create a safer digital experience: Practical guidance for parents on recognising the signs, responding with support, and helping children take responsibility.
- Kids Helpline – 24/7 support for children and young people (1800 55 1800)
- eSafety Commissioner: Cyberbullying – Reporting, resources, and support for families
- Bullying. No Way! – National resources for schools and families
- Raising Children Network: Cyberbullying – Age-specific advice for Australian families